Always be prepared to remove shoes, if required. If you wear shoes without socks, it is a good idea to have a pair of socks with you, even thin deniers for women, so that you can wear them should you need to go indoors. Bare feet are an indication of intimacy and generally disapproved of in the presence of guests or non-intimate relatives. This rule, as many others, is not absolute, but my advice is always to be conservative rather than too forward and unwittingly causing offense. Once inside a household, you can always adjust accordingly.
An important reason behind the practice of removing shoes outside the house ensures that the carpets remain free of street dirt and other impurities, and are therefore ritually clean to be prayed on, slept on, and having a meal spread set on them. This practice makes excellent housekeeping sense and reduces the need for more intensive cleaning. (Even the poorest of households are kept clean and tidy.)
If you visit a house without furniture, try to sit with your legs folded, as far as creaky joints allow. If after a few minutes your legs get stiff, as mine do, you can apologize for having to stretch your legs, which is considered too informal and impolite, especially in the presence of guests or those older than you. If you are female, cover your legs with a shawl or jacket.
In most households this problem does not exist anymore because a suite of furniture has become common. The standard “living room” set consists of two love seats and four armchairs, often in an imitation French style—the more elaborate and gilded, the more expensive and classy— although in recent years younger families choose contemporary design styles. Carpets in cream or other light-colored backgrounds are generally considered more elegant than the traditional dark red or navy blue.
For members of the more traditional classes, possessing furniture is a sign of status and wealth rather than a necessity: they may feel constrained by the formal air of the reception room with its heavy furniture, and if they feel intimate enough with their guests, they may well ask them if they mind sitting in the family room.
As in many other cultures, Iranian behaviors and practices take slightly different forms in privacy with close family than in the presence of acquaintances. One such instance is the two different styles of furniture. In flats where space is usually limited, the “front room” principle or separate guest area is distinguishable by furnishings in one fairly large reception area. If there is space for one furniture suite, it is mostly used by guests; if for two, one usually is more elaborate and expensive for guests and the other is fully upholstered and more comfortable to relax on.
When with close family and peers, it is permissible to slouch on a chair or sprawl on the floor (unless an elder is present), so the soft, more relaxed furniture is appropriate for everyday family use. Conversely, in the presence of non-intimates or on a formal occasion, such as a marriage proposal, the rules of politeness dictate that one must sit upright and in full control of one’s posture. This duality, the “outside” or formal/distant mode (zâher) and the “inside” or informal/intimate, permeates many other behaviors.
Dining Culture in Iranian Houses: How to Eat When You Are a Guest?
